I was recently having a conversation with a someone about coping skills. I asked him if his parents taught him coping mechanisms. I thought back to my own childhood and realized by osmosis I was taught that food made everything better. Have a boo boo? Here’s a cookie. Boyfriend break up with you? Here’s some cake. The person I was discussing this with is skinny and this was foreign concept to him, but maybe my foodie friends can relate. My friend’s mechanism was NOT going to anyone and handling it himself. The not so funny thing is that both of us are still using these skills as mature adults. My struggle with my weight is glaring evidence I still use food to cope. (Gulp!)
I googled coping skills and there is a plethora of information. Articles such as 99 coping skills, Top 10 defense mechanisms, 100 coping Strategies for anger, anxiety and more. I read a multitude of suggestions from hugging a pillow to picking up trash in a state park, to breathing exercises. Some are actually good ideas, some border on crazy but if it works for you to doodle on paper or rip that same piece of paper into shreds- go for it.
I have not blogged lately (which is one of my own coping mechanisms). I have been going through a lot of situations of late that have kept me distracted, upset, worrying, fearful and about 100 different emotions. I can honestly say I have not been using good coping skills. In a fight or flight situation I am 100% flight. I avoid and deny confrontation at all costs. I also hate speed bumps, not those concrete things in parking lots. I hate the speed bumps of life. I dislike rough waters, I like smooth sailing. Life. however, has been full of turbulence.
When I do share about some of the situations I am experiencing I often have friends tell me “this is just how life is” or “everyone is going through stuff right now” or “it could be a lot worse.” As well meaning as these are I do not take very much comfort in these cliches. They are kind to try to encourage me but it’s not what I need to hear.
Yesterday I wanted to lie in bed with the covers over my head. I was not necessarily depressed, just over it. Ever just get to where you are OVER IT? It’s not a fun place to be. I am not angry or mad; just over it.
So what do I do when I want to say NOPE to everything but I need to COPE? One scripture that I have relied on many times over the years is Psalm 61:2 “From the ends of the earth will I cry into You, When my heart is overwhelmed, lead me to the rock that is higher than I” The word “overwhelmed” here means to be buried beneath a huge mass of something. Maybe the end of the earth is you at the end of your rope, you’re at your wits end. Been there? Done that? I can definitely relate to feeling buried under a huge mass of STUFF.
Today I chose to use this coping skill of recognizing I’m at the end of my rope, crying out in prayer, and allowing God to lead me to Him, the Rock that is alway faithful, stable and able to cling to when everything around me is shifting, sinking sand.
Today I say nope to the inability to cope. I can and will cope because I cry unto the rock that is higher than I . Hang in there guys, we can make it!
The scripture we all know and like to quote is “Trust in the Lord “. As an aging saint the scriptures come more alive and in retrospect I know the application of Proverbs 3:5 & 6. Do we lean into our own understanding by fixing our own solutions: a second job or get a loan, or get great medical benefits etc.
I am encouraged by “in ALL my ways I acknowledge God and He shall direct my path”.
The beauty of scriptures is even though we have ups and downs God remains faithful. A positive challenge we face in dealing with any circumstances is to respond with scriptures to calm us, to support us.
Our enemy knows when we lose the love of our life that we are exposed to doubts, insecurities, depression and anxiety and loneliness.
Recently a word came to mind- Celebrate. Taking negative thoughts and swapping them for positive thoughts helps to get us focused. Healing will be ours when we enter God’s presence. No matter how many times we, in ourselves, try only God can fill our hungry soul.
Your sister said you did a fabulous Easter program at church. Well done!