I wish I could start a petition to get two phrases banned from the English language: “IF I WERE YOU” (and another variation) “IF THAT HAPPENED TO ME I WOULD…” Thinking back over the past year and a half I have heard these phrases countless times from numerous people.
Now before you tune me out, let me say that most of the folks who said this to me meant well and had no animosity when they spoke these words. I, too, have been guilty of saying this to people over the years and I had a pure, caring heart. But tonight, as I sit in my house I really regret all the times I have uttered those words.
We don’t know WHAT we would do if we were faced with the things others go through. There is an old poem written in 1895 by Mary Torrans Lathrap that says “judge softly until you’ve walked a mile in someone’s moccasins.”
There is only ONE who knows what we will do or say before we do it. Psalm 139:4 says “Even before a word is on my tongue you, Lord, know it completely.” I also love Psalm 139:16 (New International Version) “Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them ever came to be.” That is how intimately God knows you and cares for you. Others may think they know you and what they would do in your moccasins but God is the only one who knows our heart since he’s seen you in your mother’s womb.
Since my husband died I may have not done everything right. I have made decisions based out of fear, worry or guilt. I have been a little lost and uncertain of my next steps. I have often gone to trusted friends to seek their opinion of what I should do. That is when they lovingly say “IF I WERE YOU…”
I appreciate all the advice they have offered me and the intentions behind their words. I am learning however, to go to the One who formed me and knows me. He knows my frame, He knows what I am going to do and the best thing is- He loves me anyway. He is not an angry God who sits in heaven with a hammer ready to whack me on the head when I mess up. He is a loving father who waits for us to return to Him, repent and get back on track and seek His guidance. He has a robe and a ring waiting for us, but we must stop making Frank Sinatra’s famous song our life theme song: “I did it MY way.” We need to do it “God’s Way.”
So my rant ends with this, when someone comes to you for advice don’t be so quick to judge or say what you think YOU would do. My recommendation is to point them back to the owners manual (the Bible) and get their instructions from the One who made them. Pray for your friends and give them Godly council. Just make sure its not based on your opinion, but on God’s word. But that’s just what I would do IF I WERE YOU. LOL.