Last night I found myself eating prepared soup from the deli in my local grocery store. I.  Now that may not seem odd to you, but it is very different from what I am accustomed.  My late husband always called me a gourmet cook.  That may not be totally accurate, but I must say I am a pretty darn good cook. It was not uncommon for me to fix shrimp and grits or an exotic Thai dish on a weekday after coming home from work.  Ralph was my sous chef and we chatted about our day as we chopped veggies.  It was comfortable and so enjoyable although he always seemed to be standing in front of the drawer or cabinet I needed to access. We would laugh and work seamlessly together. 

I always cooked everything from scratch. You would not find a frozen prepared meal in my refrigerator.  So why do I sit and eat soup laden with sodium that someone cooked in bulk from a grocery store? The obvious reasons are 1) its just me, why bother? 2) I don’t have anyone to cook for,  so why bother? 3) No one will appreciate it, why bother?

To me cooking is a labor of love. It’s how I show people I care for them.  I love to take food to those who are sick, or recently experienced loss, or just to bless them.  I do not do it for the praise, but it warms my heart like a hot, buttered biscuit to hear someone rave about my food.  

Since my husband died I don’t cook that much.  I find myself doing take-out and buying prepared meals.

So as I think of that bland soup I ate last night I am making a concerted effort to start to cook again. I need to do it to take care of me. I need to cook healthy for obvious reasons.  But most importantly my husband would love for me to keep doing what I enjoy.  He would probably tell me to cook and give it away to others.  

Your “thing” may not be cooking, but rekindle that “thing” which you loved to do while your spouse was alive.  Yes, we miss them, but we are still alive and need to do what makes us alive.  

So here’s to no more yucky soup and to getting my recipe books back out.  

Bon appétit!